Soo.. I have had sex with my bestfriend several times even though he has a gf.

So, initially it started with cuddles .. then it moved on and we did it.

I tried to resist him but was not able to .

I don't know maybe was it my desire of male validation or maybe I did not want to upset him that's why I could not say no.

I sometimes feel he manipulated me into this by showing affection and care. but sometimes I feel that's not true ... maybe he genuinely cared about me.

I don't know what to feel now